In a Silent Way by Mary Jo Hetzel

Author:Mary Jo Hetzel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 2016-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

Jeanna drove home in a state of bewildered rapture. She felt like she’d been lifted from the mundane to the sublime in a single afternoon and didn’t know why.

When she got home, she tried to calm down in a hot bubble bath. She sank into the tub and settled back, breathing slowly and deeply. She was aware of thousands of bubbles covering her breasts like weightless snowflakes, vibrating in rose and silver, gold and green, rising and falling with her breath. As the water cooled and the bubbles broke, she returned to her central question: Why her?

Why not one of the extraordinary women in and around the Group, or any of the gorgeous, capable, confident women Land was always connecting with across the city, all of whom lit up in his presence, laughed with him, strategized with him in closed, hushed sessions, and then an hour later flirted with him shamelessly? Why not stunning, capable Helene? Or the assistant principal at Jefferson High, with all her salt and sparkle? Next to these women, Jeanna felt paltry. Young, green, scared. A nonentity.

What had he said? He felt a kinship with her, trusted her judgment, thought she was wise beyond her years and strong, was comfortable with her, found her attractive, and needed support—yes, she could do that. She felt that way toward her students, the Group, lots of people. Maybe that’s where she differed from Helene and others. Helene was definitely on the cool side, and many of the other women she was thinking of were coolly intimidating as well. No one could say that about her. When he realizes how insecure I am, he’ll drop me for someone more polished and mature—someone more his match.

She thought of their twenty-something-year difference in age. His blackness, her whiteness. His experience, her inexperience. Sooner or later, all that would matter. Sooner or later, she would disappoint him. But for now she wanted to soak up all the greatness he exuded. And she wanted to ease the pain she’d seen in him. Amid this haze of exhilaration, that was the one clear thing she could see.

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